The Lost Art of Conversation

So, I am currently listening to the Diane Rhem show on KERA 90.1. Her guest is Stephen Miller; he is the author of a new book of essays titled, Conversation. The essays detail the history of the art of conversation, and how conversation is rapidly declining during the current era. He is completely correct on this issue. The first known conversations ocurred in Ancient Greece between Socrates and Plato, yet conversation did not reach its peak until the 18th century, specifically in Britain. In the 1700's it was terribly important to incorporate conversation into every aspect of life. Conversation was the centerpiece of each component of life, be it at home, in business, or at a social function. The key aspect of the British mastery of conversation is the emphasis on politeness. Please note politeness had a much more significant connotation in the 18th century. It meant more than just simple decorum; 18th c. "Politeness" is better defined as a will to be good humored. It is mutual respect and interest between all participating parties. If you do not believe this argument, pick up a novel by Jane Austen, or perhaps one of the Brontes, Oscar Wilde, or even Thomas Hardy, then tell me that conversation was not relished by 18th century Brits. Skipping a few hundred years to present day... Where has the art of conversation gone? It is becoming lost in this virtual world. We have traded straight-forward, face-to-face conversation and sociability for our cell phones, internet, iPods, and E-mail. Take my office for example: E-mails are sent from offices literally two or three feet away from each other. There is an utter lack of true social interaction. We would rather sit in our comfy office chairs, staring up at our computers, than walk across the hall or even next door to sit down and have a conversation with another human being. Now, I am not disregarding the positive benefits of being a part of a mobile society. I enjoy E-mailing Lauren all day long since we are across town from each other. I enjoy getting instant messages from Patti (at my office), when it may not be feasible to have a face-to-face conversation. But I still love to engage in conversation. I was raised in a family that required all five members be present for family dinners each week night. When I was in high school, I may have found this to be über lame, but now I look back fondly on the times I was blessed to have had robust discussions with my parents and brothers. Lauren and I make it a point to devote time every day to just sitting and talking with each other. It has been easy for us because conversation has always been such a fundamental part of our relationship. We enjoy talking with each other. We enjoy discussions. We do not have all of the same view points, and we have very different backgrounds, so our conversations are always interesting and thought-provoking. We are very much engrossed in this virtual world, with Lauren's Palm Treo and my iPod Nano, but we still appreciate the benefits and beauty of quality conversation. So, where am I going with all of this? Simply to encourage the public at large (or the two or fewer people who actually read this blog) to participate in robust conversation. Find a friend who is a good conversationalist and enjoy discussion once again. Let us not let our society squash the brillance of conversation. Let us not allow ourselves to become habituated to anonymity. Let us all rediscover the amazing and thrilling facets of the art of conversation.